Category: Jokes

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.

I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

submitted by /u/brusque-lee
[link] [comments]
Source: New feed

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be "R", but me heart belongs to the "C".

submitted by /u/Vyorin
[link] [comments]
Source: New feed

Bring me a whiskey bitch!

Passengers are boarding a plane and a man looking for his seat finds out that he is seated next to a parrot.

After the plane took of the stewardess looks by and asks for drinks.

The man says that he wants a glass of water.

The parrot shouts to the stewardess: Bring me a whiskey bitch!

The stewardess runs off and imediately brings the parrot his whiskey.

After 15 minutes the man still does not have his water and the parrot yells: Bring me a whiskey bitch!

The stewardess comes running and gives the parrot his whiskey.

The man tells the stewardess that he is still waiting for his water.

The stewardess is really sorry and explains that she did not have any time yet but she will bring the water in the next five minutes.

After five minutes the parrot yells: Bring me a whiskey bitch!

The stewardess comes running and says here is your whiskey.

Pissed off the man yells to the stewardess: Bring me a watter bitch!

Upon hearing this the stewardess runs to the captain and they both return to the man sitting next to the parrot.

She points at them both and says: Sir, these two keep on insluting me!

The captain kicks both of them from the plane midflight.

The parrot asks the man: Can you fly?

The man responds no.

The parrot shakes his head and says: For a person that cannot fly you are quite a big mouth!

submitted by /u/Bauernwurst
[link] [comments]
Source: Adult Jokes

Put the punchline in the title.

How do you ruin a joke?

submitted by /u/budgeths
[link] [comments]
Source: New feed

I was in a car with a girl who was driving and reading a map, and she said, "I’m looking for a turn-off."

I said, "I post jokes on reddit hoping for upvotes."

submitted by /u/bennetthaselton
[link] [comments]
Source: New feed

A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"

Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"

submitted by /u/Granjaguar
[link] [comments]
Source: New feed