Husband: "Waiter, my wife spilled her water".

Waiter: "No problem, I'll get you another one". Husband: "Make sure the next one likes sports".

submitted by /u/pokemon-collector
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Source: New feed

A little boy says, ‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.

’ ‘Son,’ says the dad. ‘That happens everywhere.’

submitted by /u/harryeentertainervid
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Source: New feed

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

submitted by /u/harryeentertainervid
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Source: New feed

Whats the difference between sex and US Presidental elections?

In sex,the decision to choose the cunt or the asshole is a pleasure

submitted by /u/lord__khan
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Source: New feed

I’m never going bungee jumping.

I came into this world due to broken rubber, I'll be damned if I leave because of it.

submitted by /u/Cody610
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Source: New feed

Sweet Dreams

submitted by /u/TurkeyHawk5
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Source: WTF