I asked him if he need any help carrying the television.
He told me to fuck off and said its an ipad.
… on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe" Me: "yeah you too…" Me: (thinking "oops, ouch") Coworker: "Muahahaha" Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad" Me and my coworker burst out laughing