Robber pepper sprays himself in face while accomplice cuts himself during bungled Perth pharmacy hold-up

Robber pepper sprays himself in face while accomplice cuts himself during bungled Perth pharmacy hold-up submitted by /u/FowelBallz
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Source: fail

Little Johnny is sitting in class one day when the teacher tells her students she’d like them to think of a 3 syllable word, and use it in a sentence…

Johnny's hand shoots straight up into the air, wiggling restlessly. The teacher, knowing Johnny will almost certainly say something obscene, ignores him and calls on little Susie.

"Outstanding," says Susie "because I study hard each night, my grades are outstanding!"

"Very good, Susie," says the teacher "you are my star pupil!"

Johnny can barely contain himself, his hand wooshing wildly in the air. "Meeeeeh, mmeeeeeh." Still the teacher ignores him and calls on little Stephen.

"Casserole," says Stephen, "this morning I brought my favorite teacher a home baked casserole!"

"You certainly did, Stephen! And it smells fantastic," says the teacher. "I can't wait to eat it!"

At this point Johnny is about to fall out of his chair. "Meeeeeh. Meeeeh."

The teacher finally gives in. "Okay, little Johnny. What is your word, sweetie?"

"Urinate!" Exclaims Johnny.

The teacher rolls her eyes. Just as she expected. "And would you like to use it in a sentence, Johnny!"

"Urinate!" Johnn replies excitedly. "And if your tits were any bigger, you'd be a 10."

submitted by /u/jackthebutholeripper
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Source: New feed

Turn Down For What Fail

Turn Down For What Fail submitted by /u/FowelBallz
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Source: fail

A tree of lightning

submitted by /u/iBleeedorange
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Source: WTF

When you gotta go… (taco bell drive through)

submitted by /u/zachyp00
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Source: WTF

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your genes.

submitted by /u/SockMonkeyKing
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Source: New feed