A man is driving down the highway and sees a sign on the side of the road that reads "Free talking dog".
He is skeptical but also curious and decides to pull over. He walks up to an old farm house and sees an old dog sitting on the porch. As he walks up the dog greets him with a "Hey, how's it going?" The man is stunned as the dog stares at him waiting for a reply. Finally the man says "wow, this is amazing you can actually talk?" "Yeah, I have for years, it's no big deal" the dog replies. "Incredible.. so what are you doing here?" "Well I was trained by the CIA, worked covert ops over seas, mostly as a spy in Russia and finally decided to settle down and retire on this farm" As the dog continues to tell tales of his remarkable feats, an old farmer walks out of the house. The man asks "this dog is absolutely amazing, why on earth are you giving him away for free!?" The farmer replies "cause he's a fucking liar! He never did any of that shit"