Tag: Funny

What’s worse than a paper titty?

A cardboard box

submitted by /u/RockandRollChainsaw
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Source: New feed

I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet.

It reminds me why there's no fucking money in there.

submitted by /u/smarvin6689
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Source: New feed

What is the worst part about eating a clock?

It is very time consuming.

submitted by /u/BaconWrappedSteakPlz
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Source: New feed

How can you tell if an envelope is gay?

It comes in the mail.

submitted by /u/notsofastandy
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Source: New feed

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

submitted by /u/redrose125
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Source: New feed

The Lawyer’s dog

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98." A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.

submitted by /u/OG_QewQew
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Source: New feed